Saturday, October 02, 2021

Top things to do in Cuba!!!



 

 1)        BONUS: When you step off the plane in Havana, make sure you hit the local watering hole for some mojitos, and while toasting, make sure you say REAL LOUD: ME CAGO EN FIDEL y RAUL

REPEAT: ME CAGO EN FIDEL, Raul, y CANEL while WEARING A PATRIA yVIDA T-shirt

By saying this I am SURE you will be upgraded in your accommodations!

 

2)      Join a ADOPT A DEFECTOR PROGRAM while in Cuba.

First of all make sure you get all the required paperwork and permits from the Cuban government. Instead of laying around on the beach in Varadero ,smoking Cohibas and sampling the local Cuban girls in your mankini, spend your vacation time using your mind (escape routes, raft building, local knowledge of tides currents, spotting chivatones, etc)

 



 


3)   “I’m a baseball scout” theatre program

This is for you actors or Hollywood types!! Get into character (get permission from Cuban government first!!) right off the plane. Spread the word that you are a baseball agent, test your Spanish skills, and bring out your passion trying to recruit the local baseball talent.

 

6)      Tip to the tip of Cuba Congo line

Join the inaugural Conga line that starts on one end of the island of Cuba and stretches to the other end of the island of Cuba!

 
7) DEFUND THE CUBAN POLICE AND THE CUBAN GOVERNMENT!!! Stop the Police brutality March…A MUST******

Join the Rev. Al Sharpton for the weekly march held in Havana in front of the capital building protesting police  and DEFUND the Cuban police and the CANEL dictatorship 

 
8) Revolutionary Camp Out

Camp out in the mountains of Cuba just like the revolutionaries did!! Dress in military fatigues, carry machine guns, let your beards grow, and have skirmishes  with locals, and a mock skirmish with the Cuban government(surprise them and film it, Facebook it, and Snapchat it!!!

 
9) “Live like an EXILE day”

Great for people to people relations and get that REAL authentic Cuban feel. I suggest this again for the Hollywood types and the Cuban feel good doers!!

Rent a house, get awakened in the middle of the night and get interrogated for hours!! Depends on what package you purchased. Get thrown in prison and tortured or do the package, where they confiscate all your belongings in the name of the revolution. The exilio package also includes a raft and an escape route to Miami. Listen to speeches of Fidel talking for 6 hours, and be able to watch hours of film showing executions in HD!!!!!

When you reach Miami, have thousands of people greeting you with insults, having no money what so ever, saying that you deserved everything to be taken away from you and YOU ALSO deserved to be tortured.

**** I highly recommend this package*****

 
10) Stay in an Exile home while in Cuba program

Cuban exiles all over the world have developed a list of confiscated properties and Houses. To save money, go to these places and stay for FREE! Say this is mine, take it over, use it, don’t worry about the people that live there (they might act surprised, but they know its part of the package and have made arrangements) Enjoy it and have your grand parties, cater food in, rent a local band!

Disclaimer**** No housekeeping involved in this program and the property must not be returned to those who live there***

 

 

 

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