Ever since Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio announced they were running for President of the United States, they as well as Cuban Americans are not deemed LATINO(We are NOT in this exclusive Club) enough or as interview above asked asinine questions proving how Cuban he really is. Believe me I have been told by “LATINOS" (I forgot we are not in this Club)” and non-LATINOS that I don’t look Cuban, excuse me; I did not know that Cubans were supposed to have a LOOK?
El Café Cubano has come up with a guide for you to SPOT a Cuban right away without having to check his Cubiche card for verification, a Cuban litmus test if you will:
1) We wake up in the morning saying,” I have only two things in this world, my balls and my word”
2) When we get home in the evening we say “Lucy I’m home”
3) We finish every sentence with “Meng”
4) We all eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day at Versailles
5) In Cuba, our families worked in casinos with Meyer Lansky, and ALL of us brought our millions to the United States. What we have is because of “special treatment”
6) Santeria is our official religion and practiced by every single Cuban
7) At lunch every day we play the bongos
8) We ONLY listen to CUBAN music and specifically the song Guantanamera
9) We all drive 1959 Chevy’s
10) We all live in Hialeah and Little Havana, not Miami Lakes bro
11) We ALL SMOKE cigars
12) Mafia members
13) ONLY play baseball
14) LOUD, NOISY, DISRESPECTFUL ALL the time!