Sunday, January 03, 2010

2010 Pledges

2010 Pledges

Remember when the Hollywood celebrities came out with their pledges, it's now my duty to do my share to make a better world(can you hear the violins in the background?).

El Cafe Cubano's pledges:

- I love the United States, I am a Catholic, I love Democracy and FREEDOM, and I despise communism and tyrants…so get over it!!

- Suggest to all commies and those who “LOVE” to defend them to take 3-minute showers with lanterns just as hugo “mini-me” chavez suggested!

- suggest to those hollywood actors who defend castro, chavez(sean penn, michael moore, etc..) that since they are true believers in socialism, that as of this moment to confiscate ALL their money and all their properties and re-distribute it to the general population. They should also serve prison terms because they are too wealthy!!

- Suggest to those who do business, make comments, or documentaries concerning Cuba please actually interview a Cuban who has actually suffered under the brutal regime(Hint: benidict del toro)

- I will not laugh out loud when I see a Smart car!

- I will not use the word: chillax!!!!!!!

- Keep calling raulita….raulita

- I will not apologize to those who freak out when they find out how many kids we have….

- When someone cuts me off in traffic, I will not yell out: "comememierda" since many fluorocarbons are expelled..instead I will yell out a shorter communication:

- I will not drink 2 cups of Cuban coffee a day, since it damages the environment and it's not politically correct to say "Cuban coffee." I will relegate myself to drink 2 cups of espresso instead in an organic cup. Their is going to be an obstacle though...I am sure the person at the ventanita will respond to my request of an organic cup with: " ño tu eres comemierda!"

- I pledge to SMILE more at those comemierda's who constantly defend the castro dictatorship and turn their backs on Cubans(***disclaimer. it doesn't have to be a real smile). *** I have to start doing my smile ups :)

- I pledge not to use the plastic bags at the grocery, instead I will carry all the groceries in my hands(making several trips back and forth)... Now you can imagine my wife with me at the grocery store and yes she would say: "Tu eres comemierda or am I getting punked? "ño mi vida, !" I have pledged not to use plastic bags to make a better world!" you know the rest of the story....

MORE TO come....please tell me your pledges!


Don E. Chute said...

Alfredo, you are a new hero to me. What you say is so, spot on, and you have lived it.

I am with you, in not supporting, those commie, socialist, progressive, Obama-Nation loving folks, trying to tear our Nation apart.

God speed, and Happy New Year.

Nelson said...

Good, except for "Chillax." I use it all the time.

El Cubiche said...