Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Message from the dictator/translation

Here is the message from the dictator:

Dear compatriots

In recent days, some film images and several photographs were published, which I know much pleased our people.
Some opined, with reason, that I looked a little thin, as the only unfavorable element. I am very glad that they perceived it. This allows me to send you several more recent photos and, at the same time, to inform you that in a few days I lost 41 pounds. I add that very recently [the doctors] removed the last surgical stitch, after 34 days of convalescence.
Not on a single day, even on the most difficult ones since July 26, did I fail to make an effort to rectify the adverse political consequences of such unexpected health problem. The result is that, to my relief, I moved forward on several important issues. I can tell you that the book "One Hundred Hours With Fidel," by [Ignacio] Ramonet -- in which, during the days I was ill, I reviewed in detail every answer I gave -- is practically finished and will be published soon, as I promised you. That did not keep me from strictly performing my duties as a disciplined patient.
It can be affirmed that the most critical moment has been left behind. Today, I recover at a satisfactory pace. In the next several days, I shall be welcoming distinguished visitors; that does not mean that each activity will be immediately accompanied by film or photographic images, although the news of each event will always be presented. We all must understand that it is not convenient to systematically present information or offer images about the state of my health. We all must also understand, with realism, that the duration of a complete recovery, whether we want it or not, will be prolonged.
At this moment, I am not in any hurry, and no one should hurry. The country marches on well and moves ahead.
Today began the School Year, with more students and perspectives than in any other moment for our country. What a marvelous event!
One detail remains: to ask each of the honest compatriots who together constitute the immense majority of our people not to blame anyone for the discretion that, for the sake of the security of our Homeland and our Revolution, I asked everyone to observe. Infinite thanks!

/signed/ Fidel Castro Ruz
Sept. 4, 2006

Translation from El Cafe Cubano:

Dear suckers,

In the recent days you have seen films and pictures that were carefully crafted, manipulated, and photoshopped. I know that weird video with mini-me caught you off guard, but the cat has to come out of the bag sometime. I have lost a lot of weight and this fake beard and wig are very uncomfortable, but fooling you my people is my main objective. Those pesky exiles are awaiting my demise, so I have to be discreet and to make sure I can continue to pillage my people. My deal with evil is not done, so I will be here for a while, even though I don't know what the heck raulita is doing? Even Mirta was here!

School has begun and it's time to start brainwashing our children and providing them with no incentive. Time for them to begin their homage to me!

Now I am ready to meet and greet all those easily fooled media journalist!

Onward to a Apartheid Cuba!!!!

Your Dictator in Cuber


Orlando said...

Te la comiste. Esa es la traducción más acertada que hubiese visto.

tocororo_libre said...

agreed with orlando 100%
maybe Univison should hire you as a translator when the president speaks instead of that mexican taco vendor they have for translation,they guy sounds like he's selling chimichanga.